Hey Jude, Don't Make It Bad
by Dontletgo castiel
Summary: After Castiel is in a hit and run accident, a broken man rushes him to the hospital later to find that he has a bad case of Amnesia. The orders are to take Cas to the police, but looks like these men don't want to follow the rules. What happens when Castiel decides to take off with this mysterious man, Dean, and finds out all of his baggage.
1. Chapter 1: Darkness

Chapter 1: Darkness

When classes run late in college, they could run till around midnight. That was the unfortunate event for Castiel Novak; a high honors student with a full ride to Yale. At 23 years old he is making A's in all his classes, met his soulmate that he will spend the rest of his life with, has the best family in all of the continental U.S. and is ready to start a life with the women he loves. Castiel was born with a silver spoon is his mouth. His mother and father were both top dogs up in the north, and were very wealthy. They paid for the highest educated tutors when either Cas or his brother had B's. Yes, there was the heaviest weight on Castiel shoulders, but he enjoys the pressure. He works off of it making him more skillful and responsible. He is always the leader, never the follower; And thats what Doctors have to be. They need to make quick, consolidated decisions every step of the way. Castiel was a perfectionist when it came to that.

He was driving down a narrow path in the woods, away from the city. Cas could just take the regular highway, and get home in a matter of 15 minutes, but he enjoyed the scenic route. That was just him being him. He was about 2 miles from the new classroom, that was miles from his school and farther away from his house was being held at, when his engine made a couple sounds, rattling, knocking and bursting. His eyes bulged. Not now... At this time of night? He wasn't too freaked about the couple mile walk back to the school. Castiel was a big runner, he ran at least 2 miles every morning, so walking a couple miles was no biggy. He gently pulled over in one of the graveled ditches. Grabbing all of his stuff and throwing it in his laptop bag, he opened his door and started to walk. He didn't even try to pop the hood, he didn't know one thing about cars. He barely knew which part was the engine, or if the whole thing was the engine.

Castiel rolled his eyes and checked out his surroundings. He needed to find his car tomorrow, so he took some mental pictures. The breeze shook him a little, winter was coming and he could really sense that. Winter was his favorite, mostly when him and Anna would snuggle up drinking hot cocoa by their fake fireplace and watching Christmas movies. He would kiss her head slightly and she would lean into him more. Love wasn't a large enough word for what they had, and nothing could ever break that connection.

Cas smiled at the memory and fidgeted with his buttons, trying to get them latched. One would never catch on to the counterpart. He believes it because the makers made the cloth to small. He walked a little further out in the street while fixing his coat, no longer 'paying attention to his surroundings'. Damn he curse aloud, the stupid button was getting frustrating. He was so focused in the thing to notice the lights shining bright on his face. He looked up and stood there in shock, like a deer in headlights. The lights got closer and closer, the yellow overpowering his vision and everything went white. Then came the darkness overpowered it. leaving nothing.


	2. Chapter 2: Heaven

Chapter 2: Heaven

Dean Winchester, a high school dropout with $6 to his name was driving around the woods. Something to get his mind off the tragic memories. His car blended into the night, shining black with silver linings. He had the radio blasted with the song Amazing by Aerosmith blaring in the speakers.

"When I lost my grip! And I hit the floor. Yeah I thought I could leave, but couldn't get out the door. I was so sick, tired, of livin' a lie. I was wishin I... would die." He held the die longer than he really needed to. As the words amazing blasted he sat back and stared at the roof of his car for a second. He always listened to music that fit his mood. He quickly flipped the radio off and dragged his fingers through his hair. He remembered that night like it was just yesterday. His eyes started to weld up with tears, he shook his head. Not now, dude. Suck it up. He told himself. Right as the tear was making its way out of his water line he smashed down on the break. Sitting in the middle of the night, in the center of the road, stopped. His eyes widened seeing the bloodied man barely propped up by a tree. He was in a regular suit and a half button navy blue tie wrapped around his next loosely and over his shoulder. The man coughed and blood spewed, thats when Dean was finally snapped into reality.

"Oh– God!" He said hopping out of his car. He opened his back door and rushed to aid the other man. "Hey.. Can you hear me?" The man didn't make a sound. Dean was frantic trying to keep his cool. It seemed everywhere he went, death followed. Picking the weightless stranger up and throwing him into the backseat was no big, but getting to the hospital was. He had never been to this town, or any others around it. He liked to travel, so thats what he did. He never expected a huge impact like this while driving down a road in the middle of the night. Dean rushed back to his side and slammed the door. "Dude. Are you with me?" He asked, no response. It shook him up a bit, not wanting this man to die. He floored the gas to the nearest highway, looking for hospital signs, anywhere. After about twenty minutes going in the opposite direction making his way three cities over, he finally found a sign. St. Patrick's Hospital 4 miles. "Alright you see that. 4 miles, you can make it!" Dean stuttered. The man groaned and let out another cough of blood. All over the leather, at any other time Dean would have blew a gasket, but this was a different situation.

He finally pulled into the hospital with little time to spare. He swung the strangers arm over his head and held him in a rattling motion. "Stay with me man." Mumbling more to himself. He sprung into the waiting room, looking at all the 'sick' and 'injured' people who scatter about. More than he expected at 1:00am. Some of the patients waiting in the soft, blue chairs stood up and looked at him.

"He needs a doctor!" Dean screamed in his booming voice. A nurse came running out looking terrified. There was so much blood everywhere, dripping onto the floors and all over Dean. She motioned for him to run back to where a stretcher was propped up. Dean laid the man onto it, he was still unconscious. "Guy? Dude!" Dean waved his hand over the comatose body. He saw the man blink. The nurses and doctors came flooding in from every direction checking pulse and wounds. Dean was pushed further back until the stretcher left his sight. He ran after the crowd down a couple hallways and through plenty enough doors. They finally reached and operating room where Dean was placed in a seat right outside. A younger, more brighter nurse walked up with clipboards.

"Are you in relation with the patient?" She asked. He squinted his eyes, if he would say no, what would happen? He took a breath.

"No." He said wearily. He wasn't bad at lying, but the whole situation was kind of making him nauseated.

"Well. I can't give you much information. Do you know anyone who is a family memeber of his?" Dean shook his head again feeling lousy that he couldn't do much. She sighed. "We need his insurance." She gave him a set of sad eyes. She was chewing on her lip and playing with the fuzzy ends on the clipboard. Dean thought for a second.

"Can he use mine?" He asked. She closed her eyes.

"I don't think so? Unless you are related."

"Please, let him. He is some guy who is dying. No idea what happened but he is, and he needs to live." He grabbed his insurance card from his wallet. "Please." She started biting on her short nails painted a light purple. She closed her eyes again for a couple seconds and finally let out a fine. She snatched up the card and walked down the hall into another set of doors.

After about 2 1/2 hours of waiting and the doors continuously opening and closing, knowing not a single thing, but he was stable, finally the door opened and the doctor walked out.

"Are you the man who found him?" He asked. His face showed no emotion, he looked tired and effortless. He pushed up his glasses and itched his eyes. Dean merely nodded. "He has been going in and out of consciousness, but you can sit in there. Once he wakes up for more than 5 minutes, ring a nurse so we can have a word with him." The doctor gave a pathetic smile and walked around the corner and out of sight. Dean was more relieved than ever. He had slept the following day for at least 7 hours and that can get him a long time without sleep again. He just needed to find out if this mysterious man was alright. He got up and went for the room. The only light that was on was the lamp next to the bed. The overall light was turned off, and the window curtains were closed for the night. The man was resting silently in the uncomfortable hospital bed. The last time he sat hospital side was the time that he could never forget, but right now it needed to be buried.

The next hour went on of the man waking and dozing back off, over and over. Dean caught a glimpse of the man's attention 12 minutes ago when he woke up last. His eyes were a pure blue, he would never, ever forget them. They stared into his mind, everytime he closed his own eyes, he saw them. You could say Dean was slightly attracted to this man, I mean who wouldn't be. He had thick, brown hair that was mildly tamed, but after an accident, what would you expect. His face was nicely sculpted, and pretty. He had pink, chapped lips that were partially opened, and a 5 o'clock shadow was working its way onto the mans face. He was kind of gorgeous.

The man opened his eyes again. He gave a large yawn and stared at Dean. Dean smiled and gave a little wave with two fingers. The stranger's eyebrows crinkled and he went to speak, but all that came out was. "Heaven?"


	3. Chapter 3: Running

**Authors Note: Thank you for anyone who favorite or followed my story, man that means a lot! Also thank you BookAddict67 because you really made my day with your review, here is the next chapter, so I hope you all enjoy!**

Chapter 3: Running

Dean laughed.

"No, how about a hospital?" He said trying to be cheerful.

"What..? What's a hospital? Why am I in it?" He paused. Dean gave him a dumbfounded look.

"You don't know what a hospital is?" He laughed. This guy was probably just a jokester. The man look around, then saw the needle in his arm.

"What.. What is that?" He asked. Dean stopped laughing and realized the man wasn't kidding. Instead of asking and probing, the doctors probably wanted to talk to him. Dean grabbed the remote on the opposite side of the bed and pressed the help button. A pretty nurse walked in. She had short black hair and pale white skin. She smiled.

"Sleeping beauty woke up." Dean muttered. The man looked at him in the same way he looked when he asked what a hospital was. The nurse rolled her eyes and escorted Dean out. He asked what her name was and she said Tessa. She ran down the hall and back with the same doctor as before. He gave Dean another tiresome smile and nodded. He walked in to find the man looking cautiously around. He gazed around the room, eyes flicking everywhere. The man was about to go into a panic attack.

"Hello. I'm doctor Phyllis. I want to ask you some questions, if that alright?" The doctor grabbed his black wheeled chair and asked for his clipboard from the nurse. "Okay, first off, what is your name?"

"Uh- name?" The boy said. He looked confused.

"Yes, son. Name?" The doctor scooted towards him.

"Are you my father? Shouldn't you know my name?" He said with no sarcasm whatsoever.

"No. How about you close your eyes and think. What do people call you?" He smiled as the stranger closed his eyes. Flashes of things went through his mind. The bright lights, the woods, the pretty man he talked to before, and some women yelling Castiel.

"Castiel?" He spoke slowly. He didn't really know how to say it.

"Okay, Castiel. Do you have a last name?" The doctor ordered.

"Not at the moment." Castiel touched the cloth that wrapped around his body.

"Okay. Why don't you tell me what you remember." The doctor clicked his pen. Castiel snapped his head up sharply at the noise. His senses were coming back, and a headache was starting to show.

"Uh– I remember– bright yellow light. I was on the road, there was music. And then there was black. I woke up in a car that smelled like... I don't know, leather or something. Then the black came again. Then I'm here." He itched at the wound on his head. "Who am I again?" Castiel asked the doctor. Dr. Phyllis looked at Tessa. He wrote something down on his papers and continued with his interrogating. After about 15 minutes he finally got up and left. Dean was waiting patiently outside nodding off every couple seconds. The doctor walked out and Dean jumped up.

"Would you like some coffee?" The doctor asked. Dean nodded and walked alongside him.

"So, uh.. Doc, what can you tell me about Mr. Comatose over there?" Dean squinted and made some sort of bitchface.

"I believe he has something called Retrograde Amnesia. We asked him several questions and he honestly knows nothing. He knows his name is Castiel and thats about it. He doesn't know his family, or who he even is. We also believe he was hit by a car because the last thing he remembers was he was on a road and then he saw bright yellow lights hit him, then he felt 'hurting ness' as he said it. The accident must have lead to inflammation of the hippocampus. That is where long term memory is stored. His Episodic and Autobiographical memory has been completely lost." Dean just stared. He was trying to take it in but knew little. Remember, he is a dropout. "His Episodic memory is– well think about it, Episodic and episode. Its the part that remembers things in your life. Like a name, or someone elses name. What you did last with that person etc. And Autobiographical is like it sounds too. He doesn't know any events that happened in his life beforehand, now his Semantic and Implicit memory is just about intact. Semantic is how to say or pronounce words. What things mean and so on. Implicit is how to write or open a jar, or ride a bike. He will need help on his Implicit, but his Semantic is okay. He just sounds a little like a 15 year old boy rather than his own age." Dean finally understood most thing the doctor was saying.

"So can Lucy ever remember anything that happens to him in the future?" Dean stopped.

"His name is Castiel." The doctor deadpanned.

"It was a joke, you know 50 First Dates, Drew Barrymore.. Adam Sandler?" The doctor didn't smile. "It totally wasn't funny."

"Castiel's Explicit memory is okay. He can remember all of this and more when he gets out of the hospital, but I think he might have some troubles. A lot of patients in the past have had trouble because their fantasies mixes with reality. Like in the future he could look back on this day and say it was high noon, and he had 8 brothers and 12 sisters and he left them behind to work at some company because that was his goal. He could lie to people, and all you have to do is remind him of the the truth, he should remember after that. " The two finally reached the kitchen where they both grabbed coffee. Dean likes his coffee black, while the doctor added lots of sugar.

"Can I speak to him?" Dean asked. The doctor nodded and he rushed back up to the room. He took deep breaths and walked in. Tessa was handing Castiel a water bottle and smiled and walked out.

"Hello." The man said. Dean smiled, he shuffled over to the chair and sat down. The mans eyes followed him.

"Hey... Castiel, right?" Dean felt dumb asking that. The man didn't know his name.

"I'm guessing. That's what I think it is. I think i'll just keep it." He stated. "The nurse said you saved my life. You're my hero."

"Alright no you're the Ferris to my Cameron moment here. But uh thanks." He blushed. Castiel looked around for his attention back.

"What is your name, Ferris..." Cas asked.

"It's uh– Dean. Did you get that joke?" He asked.

"Nope. I just thought it fit?" Castiel smiled. "Dean."

"Well, arent you smart?" Dean played around.

"No. When do I get out of here? Do you know, Dean?" He bit down on his lip. The look he gave came through as I'm tired and don't want to be here Dean just shook his head. Castiel looked pretty down. Their conversation kind of ended there. Dean left saying 'goodbye', and 'he will be back'. He went to look for Dr. Phyllis. Once he spotted him down the hall he called out for him.

"Hey, Doc. Quick question, when does Castiel get to hop on the saddle again and leave?" He asked playfully.

"Well, I guess we need to get the police over here to try to get him back to his family..." The doctor looked around for a clock. "Lets go talk to him and see what he wants." The doctor went fast walking back to the room. It was a quarter past 5am. Dean was getting a little tired and couldn't wait to get back to the hotel and sleep. Once they entered the room Cas immediately sat up.

"So I think they are going to get you back to you family." Dean looked at the doctor.

"Yes, we are going to call the police and have them try to get you back." The doctor went for the landline on the wall.

"Doctor?" Dr. Phyllis looked at Castiel. "Is there anyway I could get a ride over? I mean.. I really want to get out of this hospital. Can't I go somewhere to talk to the police?" Castiel pleaded.

"No.. I think it is best if you stay here." The doctor ordered.

"You said I was stable like an hour ago?" He fought.

"I could drive him? To the police station, give him a break he has been cooped up in this little room and never seen daylight technically speaking." Dean suggested. The doctor looked between the two.

"You are stable. And you could go at any time, but It is dangerous, you don't remember anything. Its a lot of weight on your shoulders" He looked across the room at the other man "Dean, do you want that pressure?" Dean just shrugged and said whatever. "Alright, drive him to the police station, and when you get there explain what is happening." The doctor smiled.

"Do I have clothes?" Castiel looked at the gown he was wearing. The doctor looked directly at Dean.

"The clothes we have for you are cover and stained in blood." He apologized. But sure enough Dean came to the rescue.

"Gimme a sec. I got clothes in my car that could fit you." Dean ran out of the room. He walked through the halls. He felt proud, Castiel, the mysterious man was okay, he didn't die. He had little life with him and was ready to celebrate. Once Cas is back with his family he would go out for a drink. After he sleeps of course. Dean finally made it to his Impala and popped the trunk to retrieve the ACDC shirt and some jeans, he grabbed a belt, some socks and some random shoes he had. They might have been his... brothers. A long time ago when his feet were smaller. After rounding up the items he slammed the trunk and went back to the hospital. He was really hoping Cas had underwear, because he didn't grab any. "Alright chuckles, heres some clothes. And shoes, I don't know if they will fit you they were my uh—" Dean paused. "Brothers." He left the room so Cas could dress.

"Uh.. Dean." Cas called from the other side of the door. Dean walked in, Cas was suited up in clothes for the first time. "I don't remember how to tie shoes?" He blushed. Dean laughed and walked over to the shoe and demonstrated how to tie them. Castiel nodded and tried it on his second shoe. It worked. He giggled some and stood up. He was a little shaky on walking when they went down the first hall, but pretty soon he was okay. When they made it to the elevator Cas got a little spooked, he has never been in one, and the whole idea was weird. Once they were inside he grabbed Dean's jacket a little, to hold in up. Of course. He leaned in close and closed his eyes. Dean on the other hand didn't mind. He knew Cas was a little scared, he remembers how Sam was...

He shook that thought. Once they were off the elevator, Castiel still walked fairly close. Dean had the idea of it was because he didn't know any of these people, he had never been through a hospital before, and he was probably a little scared. Once again. But Dean really didn't mind, he always had that protectiveness vibe and if Castiel caught onto it. He could care less.

They made it out to the car. Dean grabbed a sheet the doctor gave him and threw it over the blood that stained his back seat. The doctor said that Cas might struggle with some things, and will most likely have some kind of post traumatic stress disorder, including panic attacks and nightmares. Seeing his blood across Dean's car might trigger something, along with other things like bright yellow lights, or walking on a road at night. Even people overwhelming him with his past might cause a breakdown. He smiled and told Cas he could get in.

It was a 10 minute ride to the police station. 10 minutes and Dean would probably never see Cas again. It kind of hurt a little, they had really bonded, and he could feel a... connection, but Castiel needed his family. 2 minutes in the car and Cas just couldn't wait.

"Can we not go to the police place...?" He turned to Dean.

"What?" He asked.

"I don't want to go." Castiel crossed his arms. Dean pulled over.

"What do you mean you 'don't want to go'?" Dean mocked him a little.

"Like, I don't want to go, and meet my 'family'" He air quoted. "I don't know them. And I really don't want the stress of having to try and redo my whole life again." He stared at Dean. Dean stayed silent. "Can't I just stay with you...?"

"What–" Dean choked out. "What about your family? You can't just leave them?"

"Why should I care. They aren't and never will be family. I don't know them. They're strangers" He kept going. "Besides, the Doctor said my age was around 23-24 years old. I'm an adult right? Isn't that the age.. or was it 30?"

"18, Cas. The age is 18, but uh–" Dean kind of liked the idea. Having someone else again, by his side. Not being alone, and he really liked Castiel. He kind of felt like he needed to protect him, that sense he had when Sam was still around. He pursed his lips. "I don't know, I mean. I don't have a home I live at... I drive around with nothing to do, eat bad diner food and used credit card scams for money. I'm not exactly a joy to be around either, I have baggage and I drink a lot and never get any sleep and..."

"Shut up." Castiel cut him off. "Stop ranting." He said in a sarcastic kind of voice. "I think it will be fun." He smiled with his eyes closed. "Do you live in your car?"

"No... I sleep at motels and stuff." Dean scratched at his beard that was starting to grow.

"Then lets go to your hotel!" Castiel crossed his legs on the seat. Dean couldn't do this, could he? "C'mon. We'll go back get your stuff that you probably have there and we can leave, get out of here before someone recognizes me."

"I feel like this is illegal?" Dean started up the engine.

"Is it? I have no clue..." Castiel and Dean laughed shortly and headed back to the hotel. This was something different. He was over 18 so it wasn't kidnapping. And he isn't doing anything like drugs or murder? So it was just running. Running away from his past that he didn't want to know. Sounds like something Dean would envy. So thats what this was. They were running away, together.


	4. Chapter 4: Need

Chapter 4: Need

They made it back to the hotel in one piece, Dean listening to some classic rock. If Castiel listen to this enough it will be the only music he ever knows, and they could be best friends. He played ACDC only for now, catching him up on them because he was curious on why these letters were on his shirt. Well Dean's shirt. Dean sung along a little off key but almost is fine. Cas tried to sing the parts that were repetitive, trying to show Dean how awesome he could be. Once they reached the motel they both walked inside.

"Okay, we need a game plan." Dean was completely serious. "I'm going to head to the Walmart we passed on the way here, pick up some stuff for you, if you're going to be staying. While I'm doing that can you pack up? Once you're done just chill out till I get back and then we'll sleep first, and drive later. Okay?" He held a thumbs up, still no smile.

Castiel merely held his thumb up and went over to the drawers. Dean finally gave a smile and ran out. Cas opened the first drawer, he saw all of Dean's underwear. All the same red, green, black, grey, white and brown underwear. Some were darker, some were lighter, and some had plaid. He grabbed all of it in one big handful and threw it on the bed. Next drawer was filled with shirts. 5 pairs of tee shirts, grey, black, brown, green, and another black. Then the thousands of other shirts. All of them had buttons that seemed as if they have never been buttoned. Plaid, to solids to stripes. Color of all variety. Must have been what he wore everyday. Under all of those were two pairs of pants. Both jeans, both ripped up. Only 2 pairs including the ones on his body at the time. Plus the ones on Cas'. He threw all of those on the bed as well. Now there was a pile of Dean's clothes. It wasn't a large gathering, but it was very disorganized. The last drawer had some gym kind of clothes. They seemed like they haven't been worn in a while. A grey V-neck and 2 pairs of navy blue gym pants. There was also duffle bags under the unworn clothing. Cas threw all of those items on the bed.

He went around to the white tiled room attached to the bedroom. There was a toilet and a sink. Bathroom. Castiel grabbed the little he had in there. A toothbrush, some toothpaste, mouthwash, a comb and some hair gel. He grabbed the shampoo and Conditioner and held all of these items in his hands. He went over to the bed and threw them next to the pile of clothes making another heap. Next was the small table in the corner of the room. There was a bag that held a laptop, Cas was sure to be careful because it seemed expensive. He gently laid that at the top of the bed. He grabbed the bottle of whiskey and the one glass and set it next to the bathroom supplies. The last thing was the night stands. There was a gold necklace on a black wire sitting there. Castiel didn't want to throw it on the bed and lose it, or put it somewhere else, so he just threw it around his neck. He'll give it to Dean later.

Dean on the other hand was making his way to Walmart. He got inside and grabbed a shopping cart. He needed simple things for Cas. He grabbed a toothbrush, some tee shirts, 3 pairs of jeans, a utility coat, some nice hiking sort of boots, some socks, deodorant, and some underwear. Dean got everything he thought to pick up, if he needed more there were tons of Walmarts around the world. He was passing up the office supplies when he got an idea. He remember the doctor saying memories might come back to Cas, and he also might have dreams that associated with his memories. So why not get him a journal to write stuff in? He looked up and down the aisle till he found a little brown leather journal. Prefect. He walked over to the check out and put all the miscellaneous items onto the black rubber. He waited for the old man in front of him to stop complaining about how coupons expired to early. Dean didn't exactly have time for this. He coughed over dramatically so the girl paid attention, finally she made the man move on, so it was Dean's turn.

"Hey." She said "How are you this morning?" She spoke with flirtation rolling off her tongue.

"It's been hectic... but uh– After seeing your pretty face, it brighten things up a little." He flashed her his award winning grin. She blushed he wink, the usual. And on the receipt she wrote down her digits. As Dean walked out to his car he crumpled up the paper and threw it down on the pavement.

When Dean walked into the hotel room, he saw all of his items thrown lazily in a pile. Cas had been in the desk chair about a foot from the TV. Dr. Sexy MD was playing, another wild makeout in the elevator between Dr. Sexy himself and Dr. Ellen Piccolo. Cas' eyes were glued to the screen. Dean looked around the room.

"Cas?" Dean whispered, trying not to scare the being in front of him. Castiel shushed Dean. He didn't even acknowledge Dean's presence, eyes still on the screen. Matter-a-factly he turned the volume up more to override Dean's voice. Dean looked Cas up and down, seeing his hair sticking wildy all around and his legs crossed on the seat. He also noticed Cas was wearing Dean's shirt... not just the ACDC shirt he gave him, but the red button up he has had for a while. Finally after a couple more minutes a commercial waved over the screen, and overjoyful family came on kicking soccerballs and laughing. The commercials Dean hated.

"What!?" Cas snapped his head over to Dean. He just eyeballed him.

"Okay.. what's with the stick up your ass?" Dean raised his eyebrows. Cas just cocked his head to the side and squinted.

"Stick? What–?" He started, Dean just grunting a simple nevermind and Cas shrugged it off. "Ellen told Dr. Sexy she was going to be transferred, and now he is all upset threatening Ellen that he was going to quit because he can't go on without her!"

"I've seen that one. Dr. Wang takes the job that was meant for Dr. Piccolo so they got to stay together at Seattle Mercy, only thats the last of Dr. Wang you'll see until next season." Dean gave a small sorrynotsorry kind of face. Cas blushed not realizing Dean was also a fan of his newly found fandom. He switched the TV off now knowing what happens. "So.. What happened? Did a tornado strike? Wheres toedo?" He laughed grabbing the items on the bed and shoving them into each duffle bag. Dean started to walk towards the nightstand to collect his necklace when he saw nothing was there. He panicked. His eyes went wide and he started tossing things here or there. When he turned around he saw Cas abruptly close looking over his shoulder.

"Is this what you are looking for?" Castiel uncovered the golden necklace from his neck. Dean's shoulders fell, and his eyes shone bright again.

"Thank god!" Dean snatched the amulet. "Don't– uh. Touch this Cas." He bit down on his lip. Castiel blushed with embarrassment.

"So sorry. It was sitting there and I didn't want to lose it packing, so the safest place was around my neck." Cas sighed.

"Right, sorry it was a gift from my brother." Dean placed the necklace back home around his own neck. Castiel just stood there, very close to Dean, just a few inches from his face. "Cas– there is the thing, called personal space..." Dean laughed a little, Cas still stood in his spot slightly tilting his head. "Okay... well, you can't get at least elbows length from someone unless: they say its alright, sitting down, in a close space, or I guess if you're in some kind of relationship." Dean spoke quicker at that last point. Castiel blushed and stepped back apologizing for his lack of knowledge. Dean laughed it off and finished packing. Throwing everything where it belonged. He threw a duffel bag one by one next to the door. Castiel sitting down in the cushioned blue chair in the corner, he was playing with the hem on Dean's shirt and humming a tune. It was very rhythmic and queer. Dean shook his head sending the last dufflebag by the door. "Okay.. Sleep? Then we hit the road. Four hours will do, k?" Dean smiled hoping into the comforters. There was only one bed so Cas just sat on the chair and stared at Dean.

"Dean–" Castiel blushed.

"Oh... Do you wanna sleep? I have room." He moved over on the bed, gently patting the space next to him and smiling. Castiel got up and exacted Dean's action. He hopped into bed and smiled at the man next to him. Dean almost fell off because how hard Cas landed. They both laughed a nice belly laugh till finally Dean dozed off. Castiel went a couple minutes later, listening to the sound of Dean's breathing. It was his first real sleep he could remember.

The next morning Dean woke up to a cuddling Cas. He was shaking and terribly sweaty, Dean had been like that before, after countless nightmares. Dean tried to get out from underneath Cas, but then Cas roughly grabbed his shirt. 'NO NO' He screamed. He started crying and dug into Dean more. Another scream escaped his lips. Dean finally shook him hard enough to snap him out of the terror. Castiel shot up and blinked. He was rubbing at his under eyes, trying to make the tears go away.

"Are.. you okay?!" Dean bit down on his lip and put his hand reassuringly on his back. Dean scooted up on the bed to be next to Cas.

"I— Don't know what happened. I just remember seeing a boy... he was short and was eating his candy and he was talking to me, being really nice and funny. He then started walking at me and the yellow lights. Dean. The yellow lights showed up and chased after me." He started panting... His whole body was shaking and he really started crying. His eyes were puffed up red and he made somewhat of a choking sound. Dean knew what this was, Sam had it when he was younger. Dean cringed at his newly found friends emotions pouring out. He did the only thing he could think to do

_Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Just take a sad song and make it better. Remember to let her into your heart. Then you can start to make it better—_

Castiel looked over to Dean and heard him singing. He didn't know the song, but the sound of Dean's voice was soothing. He closed his eyes and started breathing normally again. Humming along to the unknown song.

_Hey Jude, don't let me down You have found her, now go and get her. Remember to let her into your heart. Then you can start to make it better._

"That was uh- What my mom would sing me." Dean smiled half-heartedly. He saw Castiel calm down and look into his eyes, soft tears going down his cheeks. Somewhere throughout that shutter, their hands found each other. "Lets get on the road, hey?" Dean jumped up. Castiel nodded slightly and packed the little thing they had left.

Most people would be annoyed, they couldn't stand to be with someone like Castiel. He was sarcastic and immature and not the brightest, and now on top of all that he has really bad panic attacks and cuddles up with you and scratches up at your skin. Most people would push him away or leave him in this room. But Dean wasn't most people. He wanted to make things better with Cas, and sometimes you needed someone just as damaged as you were to make things right. He didn't care that he wouldn't be caught dead holding someones hand, or singing to calm someone down because with Cas, he didn't care. He would stand in front of millions and do what he just did to make things okay. Castiel needed him, not a therapist, not a drugs, but him. And Dean needed Castiel.


	5. Chapter 5: Broken

**Hello! Thank you once again BookAddict67, I didn't take what you said offensive! I laughed. And as for others who started to follow this story.. thank you! Please review and criticize the crap out of me. I want to be as good as I can get, so what ever you say can help. I am also open to any requests, but I will assure you that I always write 1 chapter ahead of what your reading. So if can't put your ideas in, I'm sorry. Thank you once again, and I will shut up so you can get to reading. **

Chapter 5: Broken

Dean floored the gas and put this city behind them. He put on some Def Leppard; one of his tapes in his cassette box. 'Rock of Ages' blasted as Cas sat a little closer than friends would normally sit. But would you really consider these two friends? It felt like they have know each other for years, decades, centuries. Only to really find out this is the second day they knew one another existed. Castiel finally gave up on trying to sing along to this song, he turned off the radio and stared at Dean.

"Not for nothing, Cas. But the last person who looked at me like that.. I got laid." Dean chuckled. Castiel just squinted and cocked his head. "What...?"

"You're so interesting Dean. Tell me more about you." Castiel sat criss-crossed on the leather.

"Put your seatbelt on..." Dean shuttered avoiding the subject a little. Castiel merely looked forward and placed the strap around his torso and clicked it to the black holder.

"Dean. I want you to tell me a story about you." Castiel wouldn't give up. Dean decided to give in.

"Alright, Cas. what do you want to know?" He smiled. Castiel physically brighten.

"Can I know more about your brother?" He said. Dean's face went from amused to depressed in a matter of seconds. He wasn't really comfortable telling Castiel this personal of information. Not this soon at least.

"Not... now. That– That is a story for another time." Dean closed his eyes and pushed back the memories.

"Okay, what about your parents?" Cas pried. "I don't exactly have or want some, so can't I we just talk about yours? I want some memories." Castiel smiled innocently.

"Uh– alright. My dad's name was John, my mom's name was Mary. They both are deceased..." Castiel shook his head and looked at his shoes. It seemed he was really listening. "My mom died when I was four, I have little to no memories with her because how young I was. I know she was really sweet, and always made me pie. She had blonde hair and she was absolutely gorgeous. That I know by pictures. My dad on the other hand wasn't as great, see when my mom died in a fire started by a random pyromaniac, my dad was determined to find him. Before she died, John was a cop. My mom was a stay at home mom. He was okay then, what with I can remember. When my mom died he stopped being a dad and started being a drill sergeant. He showed us how to used weapons and fight and... kill. He quit his job because he became obsessed with the killer. We traveled everywhere looking for the man, and we didn't find him till I was 19 and Sam was 15. Our dad was mean, he didn't care much about my safety, he only cared about Sa–" Dean stopped. A tear fell from his eye and he wanted to be anywhere but here right now. "Anyway. After we found the man John.. he killed him. Cold blood, shot him in the heart. Just like that. The police were going to put us in a foster home, but soon I was 19, I didn't have to go... and I got custody of Sam after a year of nagging. Poor kid, a whole year of some unknown kids in a weird place. He told me it wasn't all bad, but I know he hated it."

Castiel smiled. He wanted to hear about Sam... what was wrong with him and why he wasn't with Dean? Why Dean refused to talk about him? What made him cry anytime he started too?

"We lived in this car for so long. Until we decided to live with our uncle Bobby for a year and a half. Bobby taught us credit card scams for money, and how to live by ourselves. Once I was 21 and Sam was 17 we left Bobby's and started living on our own. First we lived from place to place getting little jobs here and there, then Sam met..." Dean paused again. "He met someone and we stayed in that area." He skimmed over that last part. "Things happened and then I found you on the road, my little fallen angel." Dean smiled gracefully. Castiel could only wonder, but he didn't want to force Dean on anything.

"You had a bad childhood Dean." Castiel said sadly, Dean just brushed it off and turned the radio back up. He was whistling along, when Cas found the journal Dean bought for him. He explained how Cas should write down dreams, thoughts, emotions, anything in there. He also promised he would never look inside. Castiel made that clear, that he would tell Dean what was inside, but he didn't want him reading it. Which Dean agreed to and the song kept going.

The pair talked for a long time, mostly about Dean's childhood. They also talked about how Cas will need to see millions of movies: _Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Wizard of Oz, Forrest Gump, Silence of the Lambs, Se7en, Breakfast Club, Back to the Future, Alien, Taxi Driver, Braveheart, Men in Black, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm st._ and many, many more. Dean talked about going to a store one day and renting them all out, so they can spend a week watching every movie, back to back. Castiel was overwhelmed and excited. They spoke about music, and the only thing that was coming close to this car was Classic rock. He talked about some classic rock bands like_: Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, Def Leppard, Queen, Foreigner, The Who, Van Halen, Aerosmith, Black Sabbath, Journey, Warrant, the Beatles, Nazareth, Deep Purple, Styx, Bon Jovi, Rolling Stones, Survivor, and Kansas._ He would give a little information for each one, at one point he looked over at Cas and found him writing all the information down in his journal. He could use it for whatever he wanted...

Next Dean talked about his love for cars and how he once rebuilt the car they were in at the moment from a crash. No one was fatally injured, but it was pretty bad. Dean didn't think he could ever talk so much in his life, but Cas had no experience. He couldn't remember anything. It was more of a one sided conversation, but Dean kind of liked that. He felt like he was important, to have someone's undivided attention felt good. Castiel was taking in everything, writing stuff down and asking all the right questions. He didn't pry on subjects Dean avoided and he never got off topic, not once. They made it through a state already, what seemed like an hour was really a day. The night came creeping around and it was time to stop in a hotel. Dean searched around and found that they were in Pennsylvania. They drove through New York, starting from Connecticut, where the hospital was.

Dean pulled up to a sleazy place and headed up to the lobby. He had got a room, with two beds this time. Castiel could sleep nice and comfy by himself. Once they were finally in the place it was 9:30pm. Castiel was yawning and slumping around the room. He got in the shower and Dean followed the routine as well once Cas was done. Cas took one of Deans shirts and threw it on, also taking one of Deans sweats that he never wore. As for Dean, he wore a loose shirt and his boxer briefs to sleep, usually he never had time to get this comfortable. He slept in jeans most of the time. Dean and Cas both curled up in their beds and dozed off. At around 1 in the morning, Dean woke up to Castiel's screams.

"Cas! Cas!" Dean yelled as he got up and shook him awake. Cas was panting again sweaty and confused.

"I'm so sorry..." He whispered.

"No don't be. Its okay, I got you." Dean put his hand around Cas. He rocked back and forth as Cas cuddled close.

"Dean, could I sleep with you tonight? It seemed last night it really helped to know you were there." Castiel bit down on his lip, Dean nodded and lead Cas back to his bed. Dean laid there as Castiel crawled over him and snuggled up on Dean under the covers. Cas laid his head on Dean's chest, which to Dean was a little too gay for his liking, but once again, with Cas it was different. It wasn't gay, Dean felt like his was his job to protect Cas, he wanted to be here for him when he needed it. "Dean.. could you sing to me?"

_"Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better. Remember to let her into your heart. Then you can start to make it better. Hey Jude, don't be afraid. You were made to go out and get her. The minute you let her under your skin, then you can begin to make it better."_ Not long after Dean heard Cas' silent snores. He stopped his singing and fell asleep himself.

The next morning they woke up entwined in each other. There legs were twisting and so were their arms. Castiel head was still on Dean's chest and Dean's face was in Castiel hair, sniffing the apply shampoo they both use. But Cas had another smell to him, a unique fresh smell that no way possible came from this hotel, or Deans leathered up car. It was this smell that said Cas. It was his own loving smell that was like heroin to Dean. It was a smell that was better than pie and thats saying something. Dean's eyes opened slowly and he smiled. He tried to worm his way out of Cas' grasp, but Cas only squeezed him tighter. Dean laughed causing Castiel to wake up.

"M–morning." Castiel started pulling away from Dean as his face lit up from embarrassment. Dean only pulled him in for a tight embrace that made Cas relax. Another laugh escaped Dean and Cas joined in. They both sat up and got out of bed, not having an inch of awkward from the cuddling. Cas seemed to like it and it saved him having nightmares, and Dean could personally get used to it. They threw on clothes and packed up, trying to make it as far away from the north as possible. Cas said he wanted to go down to California so he could go to the beach, it was freezing where they were so California must have decent weather. Maybe 60's or 70's. Cas wanted to see the ocean from down there, maybe not go in, just look at it.

Dean and Cas checked out of the hotel and started driving a litte west. About a couple hours in, Castiel finally brought up a topic.

"Dean. I have been really wondering, and if we are going to be together on the road and such, then I think I deserve to know." Cas said bluntly. "What happen to Sam?"

Dean choked up, he knew he could tell Cas. It needed to be said, and it would be nice to wake from his nightmares and have someone to talk to too. He had dreams that made him cry, but not every night, and they weren't nearly as bad as Cas', but Castiel was such a good listener. He didn't judge and he was so, perfect. Dean thought about it, going silent for 5 minutes and finally obliged.

"Uh–" Dean closed his eyes and pulled over on the long country road. He put the car in park and turned to face Cas. "I can't drive if i'm telling you this." Dean could already feel his heart clench. He hasn't told a soul about this. After the event took place he hadn't talked to any of his 'friends' or 'family', most of them didn't even know Sam was dead. He couldn't face people, he just set off on a journey across the U.S. ending up in Vermont, finding Cas.

"It's been 5 months since this happening, its sort of why I'm still pretty sensitive. Remember how I said we settled down in a place because Sam had met someone? Well that was in Canton, South Dakota. We we're 40 minutes from our uncle Bobby. Sam met a boy named— Nick. I refer to him as Lucifer, but... Him and Nick became really good friends. So close that after a month, they started dating. Sam was 18 almost 19 at this point. We lived in an apartment. I was working at the local auto shop and Sam was working everywhere trying to save up so he could go to Stanford." Dean's eyes went red and he started crying, "He was really smart Cas. You wouldn't believe how smart he was. Nick started out okay, he was a little weird, but I didn't care, as long as Sam was... happy. I started noticing a difference in Sam though, after they dated for a month. He was distant from everyone, and only hung out with Nick. Sometimes I heard Nick bossing Sam around, and only I can– could do that." He corrected himself. "One day I came home early from the shop to see Nick kicking Sam, over and over and over again." Tears were trailing down Dean's creeks and getting mixed into his light beard. "Sam was shouting and screaming in pain. I went to go hit Nick, but he saw me coming so he ducked. I fell over, scrambling up to my feet again, but I was booted in the face, when I woke up I saw–" Dean stopped. He closed his eyes and started breathing heavily. Cas scooted closer to him and hugged him, following what Dean did to him.

"Its okay Dean.." Cas spoke. "Im here."

"When I woke up I saw blood, covering the carpet and Sam was just laying there, I was passed out for 4 1/2 hours. And there was a large gash on Sam's head. I quickly check his pulse. Nothing. I found my phone and called the police. When they got there, it was too late. Sam died. He died, and I could have did something. If I went for a more secretive approach, or if I moved quicker, If I didn't settle down in that town. Maybe if I let Sam go to Stanford straight out of High School—" Dean kept blaming himself.

"What happen to Nick?" Castiel asked, trying to get Dean off the topic of blaming everything on himself.

"We found him in the back of my apartment, he trashed Sam's room and then killed himself." Dean clenched his teeth, "The coward killed himself– Sam could have been here, now if It wasn't for me."

"Dean!" Cas shouted. "Its not your damn fault... You can't keep blaming yourself, it Nicks fault. Nicks. Not yours..." Castiel started to cry too. He felt so heart broken for Dean; he wanted to run away from everything. "You are such an idiot Dean. Don't blame yourself."

"I know I'm an idiot Cas, and if you want to leave thats fine, I'll take you back to Vermont.. you can go live some apple pie life with your dad Mr. Rogers and leave my idiot self here." Dean whimpered.

"No. I would never– Why would I leave, we have come so far." Cas tired to smile.

"Because I'm broken, Cas. I'm broken and you can't fix me. Nobody can." Dean slammed his fist down.

"Well maybe I need broken, maybe our broken halves can't be fixed. But who cares, we have each other. And I aint dying, not now not ever." Castiel smiled. "I'm by your side till the end." He gave Dean and tight, warm hug. Dean just cried in his shoulder. They were both broken. But right now they needed broken.


	6. Chapter 6: Lucky

**Hey! So I need to say some stuff. One sorry this chapter is a little short, also I need to take a little... Hiatus? Haha, I guess you could say. I'm giving my computer away, and getting a new one. Once I have my new one I will get the next chapter up. Sorry, again! Enjoy3**

Chapter 6: Lucky

After Dean and Cas had made it to Ohio, they stopped. Cas wanted to get out of the car, and Dean decided Ohio was far enough away. They chose to see Lake Erie, settling on the outskirts of Cleveland. Dean found a decent hotel to relax in for the weekend. It was still chilly considering it was October; Dean had given Cas a jacket of his permanently. He Walked along the rigid shore lines of the beach while Cas was writing away in his brown journal. He was skipping through that thing like it was nothing. Each page was filled top to bottom with words, drawing, the whole nine yards. Once in the car, when Dean was driving, he looked over at Cas. He was sound asleep with the journal in his hands. It was open and what was inside was noticeable. Dean didn't break any rules, he never actually picked it up, and he just saw the page. It was a very well sketched picture of Dean's face. The face he has when he is driving, Dean didn't think it was weird or anything, you're stuck in a car for hours what do you draw? The only other thing that was there.

Dean could tell Cas was drawing again. The face he made was pretty cute. He was biting on his lower lip and his eyebrows were crinkled. He would sigh a lot, and then laugh. The wind was heavy, making it harder for Castiel to draw. After collecting a few shells, Dean went back to sit down with his new friend.

"Whatcha doing?" Dean smiled. Sitting fairly close.

"None-ya." Cas muttered.

"None-ya?" Dean laughed. He scratched absently as his light beard.

"Yeah. None-ya business." Castiel smiled and placed the now closed journal next to his feet. He laid back with a huff. Dean followed closing his eyes and letting the sun warm up his cold body. "I can't wait to get to California!" Cas turned to his side, looking at Dean. Not even a foot away from his face.

"Ah, California. I haven't been there since I was with Sam and Dad." Dean opened his eyes and turned to Cas. Those big blue eyes hypnotizing him. He trusted those blue eyes. He got lost in those blue eyes. How can someone have such pretty eyes?

"It's going to be better than this place!" Cas nudged Dean playfully.

"Hey! You wanted to come here, bud." He pushed Cas back.

"No, I said we should stop and you were like 15 miles to Lake Erie, let's go!" Castiel pushed him harder sending him onto his back. Dean laughed and pounced on top of Cas, wrestling with him. They pushed and pulled, till they were covered in sand, Dean heard a crunch in his pocket and a light stab to his thigh.

"Ah- Damn it." Dean cursed. Cas gave him a quizzical look. "I got these for you on the shore; you seemed like someone who might want one? There aren't many non-cracked ones." Dean's face lit up. Cas grabbed his wrist and pulled him up.

"Guess we'll just have to find more?!" He laughed walking barefoot into the cold water. He grunted at the waves smacking his once warm feet. Dean's eyes darted around for another shell, it took him a couple minutes but he finally found one.

"Here." Dean said as he handed Cas the shell. Castiel blushed and whispered.

"It's perfect," He paused "I have an idea!" He ran over to the impala. Cas climbed into the car and punched in the code for the glove box. "11-2-83" he said quietly. "See I don't forget everything!" He chuckled at the stupid joke. "Why again are those the numbers?" He asked dumbfounded.

"My uh– dad made that the combo because it was the day he couldn't forget..." Dean stopped. Cas finished Your mother's death? He asked. "Yeah." Dean smiled. Castiel pulled out the brown straw looking string. Dean raised an eyebrow. The next he knew, Cas was asking him to tie it around his next.

"See, now we both have necklaces that mean something." He blushed innocently. Dean melted at his smile. The shell fell softly against his chest. "Like I said, perfect." He walked back over to where they were sitting before. Dean watched as he skipped over. The necklace bumping against his skin. Cas was the best friend he never wanted.

After a couple hours they decided to head back to the hotel, this time everything fell a little different. Dean asked for a single room, single bed. He decided instead of waking up in the middle of the night to help Cas calm down, they could just stay calm in the same bed. It worked out a lot better. Dean still sung Cas his song, in his off pitch beautiful voice. It took him two lines Cas was sound asleep. Once again cuddle around his familiar friend. Dean would never say this aloud but he enjoyed Cas' cuddling. He enjoyed his silent snores and his pleasant scent. That night was the first time since he met Cas that he had a nightmare. Usually the nightmares were the same, Nick kicked Sam's head pretty rough, but then Dean would wake and instead of helping Sam on the floor, he hit him too. Dean couldn't protect Sam, so now he would just hurt him too. This dream however had a guest star, the man lying gently against Dean's side. Nick had killed Cas and moved onto Sam.

Dean woke pretty tensely, and saw Cas, still alive still breathing. He was glad he didn't wake him because he knew what Cas was going through was a million times worse than what Dean had. Dean needed some air. He awfully wiggled out and stood up, his fingers ran through his sandy brown hair, and he went to the sink to splash off his face. At times like these he would usually go for a ride, but the impala was too loud and would wake Cas up. Another thing he never thought about, I wonder how many people I have woken up with my late night trips in that thing. Even though he didn't care before he cursed at himself for being so stupid. when he was in times like these, he blamed himself for everything.

Cas was helping when it came to Sam. Every time he had been brought up Cas reminded Dean that it wasn't him fault and that it was okay. Dean did reject him a couple times; Dean knew he could have prevented it only if he was less impulsive about it, not just running at him like an idiot. This thought made Dean tear up a little. He sat by the sink and stared at his reflection. He splashed more water on his face and kept remembering everything. Dean turned around to head back to the bed when the one and only Castiel popped up.

"Hello Dean." Cas said confused. Dean rolled his eyes.

"Cas, we talked about this… Personal space." Dean pinched the bridge of his nose. Castiel mentally smacked himself. He nodded and took a large step back, still confined in Dean's personal area, but this time Dean didn't mind. It was perfectly okay.

"What's wrong, Dean? Did I disturb you?" Castiel's face went red. He played with the gym pants he had borrowed from Dean. He had found out they once were Sam's. He told Dean he didn't need to wear them, but as kind as Dean was to him he allowed it. Cas knew he was making Dean lose sleep from his constant nightmares and panic attacks, why he stayed? He hadn't had one in a couple nights, so he thought he was okay.

"God no. I uh- I just had a nightmare that's all. Just getting a little 'air'" He quoted, Cas made is signature look as he squinted and cocked his neck. Dean laughed and placed a hand on his shoulder, he squeezed it tightly, not wanting to let go. Castiel grabbed his wrist and tiredly brought him back to bed. Dean was gently tugged to his once warm, now cold area. He lay down and placed his hand behind his head.

"Sometimes I wonder what would happen if you weren't the man who found me?" Castiel laid his head on Dean's chest; it felt too intimate for two friends to be sharing a moment like this. "You could have taken me back to a life I didn't want. You could have been a jerk and left me after the first panic attack, you could have been a serial killer." Dean laughed at the last comment, he was right though.

"Guess we are just lucky, huh?" Dean replied. He felt Cas take a deep breath and smile. Cas snuggled into Dean and started humming 'Hey Jude' to himself as Dean sung quietly, so inaudible that Cas barely heard it, but it was enough to make him very sleepy, _how did he get this lucky? _


End file.
